Dear Amy Pond,

We started our romance nicely enough. I thought you would be gorgeous and knit up quickly and I wouldn’t have to go out and buy new yarn for you. I finished The Marine with less yarn than I thought so I assumed, with the same yardage and less cabling, that you would be the same.

Why have you forsaken me? I was at knitting club last night dutifully knitting on you hoping to be done so I could parade you around for a bit, but no. You barely pass my hips when I just have you hanging from my neck. You have also managed to suck up more than three skeins in your 5.5 feet of length and I have to add another two skeins to you. That means I have managed to put almost 40 dollars into you. I was not planning on budgeting that much money into you.

I thought stretching you out would allow for more length but you’re so sproingy and lively that you just go right back to the way you were– too effing short.

Don’t you want me to wear you? Don’t you want me to be able to start your friend from “Vampires of Venice?” She’s pretty too! Why do you have this ridiculous only-child syndrome when you know I’m working on a hat and a baby blanket too? Do you hate them as well and this is payback? They never did anything to you and I work on you consistently. I put at least two cables on you every night- that’s 32 rows. Work with me here.

I would very much appreciate it if you would only take another 1/2 a skein so I can make adequate fringe on you after blocking you to within an inch of your life perfection.

Please, please, let me finish you and work on your buddy from Vampires of Venice. She’s pretty and she’s my first lace-work project. I promise I’ll stuff you in a box when you’re done and only take you out when you’ve promised to behave parade you around town as soon as you’re done and the sooner that happens, the better.

Your loving knitter,



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