I’ve been thinking about this a lot since it happened but haven’t really done anything about it until I knew I could stay a little level headed about it.
I’ve not been a terribly bitter person in my life as far as I can tell. There are a few disappointments that rub me the wrong way and have a tendency to stick with me for a while but I eventually get over it and figure that it’s not worth the energy put into being pissy about it. I only continue to burn one bridge in my life because I don’t deal at all with betrayal; betray me once and you’re dead to me.
Then I get a Facebook message like the one from my best friend of 8 years dumping me. She called me toxic and selfish and uncaring. I knew it was coming, especially when I barely talked to her since her birthday, so I wasn’t terribly upset about the fact that she broke up with me. I was more burned by the fact that this came from Facebook. I think it’s pretty clear I don’t shy away from confrontation when it comes to something I’m passionate about; I don’t mind the argument. With her it’s always a blaming game though so she wanted to avoid me pointing out her flaws. It really rubbed me the wrong way.
So I ignored her. She removed me as a friend on Facebook. It became painfully clear to me how a little thing like ‘unfriending’ me from Facebook could sting. I continued ignoring her.
That was until she decided to blog about me. She assumed that because I never responded to her break-up message, that I was cutting ties with her. The honest truth was that I didn’t have anything nice to say so I didn’t say anything at all. If I had responded, she would have been compelled to respond so she could have the last word, which could have kept the fight up until much longer than had I ignored her. I know she doesn’t read this blog so I thought I’d now return the favor.
This is me at Bitter.
(For purposes of anonymity, her name has been redacted),
I’m sorry you feel that way and I’m sorry you felt the need to send me a message rather than actually talk this out with me since we have known each other for almost a decade and you suddenly end our friendship with a facebook message. I am extremely hurt and betrayed and I still can’t even think about a proper response to this brutal brush-off you’ve given me.
I haven’t replied (in response to your blog post) because I didn’t really have anything kind to say in return to the equally unkind things you said and/or think about me.
Me being myself is not being toxic and I take GREAT offense by the fact that you think I’m some curmudgeonly bitch all the time. I saw my life falling apart because I couldn’t find something to spend my life doing after I graduated a year before and you’re spinning it into me being a horrible person for letting stress take over. What’s worse is I couldn’t talk to you about it because you didn’t care. You never cared.
Did you never think that I come to you with my problems because you’re a great person to come to with problems? I always encouraged you to come to me with your problems but you never wanted my advice anyway. You just wanted someone to sit there and listen and console you when I was about trying to help find a solution to your problem.
Again, I’m sorry you feel the need to cut all ties with me and I’ll do my best to be cordial toward you should we be together in the future.
I wrote this message in the heat of the moment after seeing her post in which she called me toxic and she had no kind words to say to me anymore. This is her prerogative to end our friendship but I do not take these things lightly.
Should she get word that I blogged about her, this will be the first time she learns my opinion on the matter.
There will be a knitting-related post later today. I promise!