I can’t actually say why I find this so amazing but the fact that I had this conversation with Boyfriend leads me to believe that I should be putting a little less stock in the boyfriend sweater curse than I actually am.
We were sitting at his place last week doing nothing when he busted out with “I may or may not believe a bit more in your curse…”
“What…?” I inquired, a smile forming on my face.
“I may have a bit more belief in the sweater curse…”
I instantly went to thinking that he meant against me. I hadn’t knit him anything and I didn’t have plans to do so anytime soon.
“…OK… explain?” I said again.
Boyfriend had been cleaning his living room to prepare for his new computer to be stationed on a shiny new surface. In this hubbub, he then cleaned the rest of his living room, unearthing a present his ex girlfriend had given him one year.
He then went into this bedroom and brought out the most hideous looking blanket I’ve ever seen in my life. We’re talking squeaky acrylic in black, yellow and gray and probably another color. It was crocheted in an odd pattern that would look pretty if it weren’t for being completely ineffective at keeping the recipient warm. I feared touching it for the sheer electricity this sucker could create.
I picked it up with two fingers and grimmaced. It was his ex that made it.
“Why do you still have it?” I badgered.
“It’s not like I’ve used it. It’s still in the bag she gave me.”
“So why do you have it?” They had broken up years ago.
“It got buried. I didn’t remember it was there.” I glared at the piece of crap in front of me. I dared not touch it again. I put it back in the bag and kicked it away for good measure.
“Did you ever think she made the blanket on purpose? Let’s face it, the relationship wasn’t going to last”
“Well.. sure… but that doesn’t change the fact that she crafted for me and we broke up.”
“Totally not correlated.” I volleyed back.
He just laughed in return.
As we were still on the topic of the blanket, after I had suggested he simply donate it to goodwill or give it to a nursing home so they can unwravel and knit from it to make a prayer shawl, boyfriend’s eyes brightened and he suggested I remake something out of the blanket.
I stared at him and blankly said “NO.”
I wasn’t jealous of this girl that I know wasn’t right for him and I assured him that anything I make will not have its own static electric charge to it. That, even though he could wash this blanket, mine would be much better.
He laughed it off and told me about the batting he wants me to make into a quilt some day.
I don’t quilt. Mom does. I guess I’ll need to be learning sometime.
As far as I know, the blanket is still in Boyfriends bedroom where he doesn’t sleep anyway. In any case, it’s not like this hideous blanket is worthy of stirring up feelings long lost when he knows I can knit things much softer and prettier than she decided to make…once he makes it to the one-year mark, that is.