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A Tale of Slippers

If you live in  Wisconsin or the midwest or anywhere with…weather, you’ll know just how cold it’s been lately. It’s so cold that your hands are always chilly, the hairs in your nose freeze from the moment you stand outside and hair has a special static going on with it.

My feet have been cold constantly since this snap occurred a couple weeks ago. They were especially cold the other day and I didn’t feel like knitting my sweater again. So I decided to look for clogs or slippers that were a.) Free or in my library and b.) cute and easy. I decided to give the French Press Slippers a try…again. I’ve made these three times now and have hated them every single time so I’m done with them.

Time 1: Finished them pretty quickly out of purple Cascade 220 and 220 Tweeds, sew them up and put them in the top-loading washing machine three times to felt them. Upon being fully felted, the slippers would have fit Sasquatch. They were thrown away immediately after many grumblings and Mom laughing in fits of hysterics over how large they were.

Time 2: I made lime green slippers thinking they would be so freaking adorable. I hand-felted them which was such a bad idea. After three hours of flapping the yarn around in the water, beating the crap out of it and finally wasting $3 to put it in the washer with a couple dirty towels, they didn’t look anything like slippers but more like open wine bottle cozies. They went in the garbage.

Time 3: I gambled again and started these slippers again with 2 strands instead of 3 and I did them exactly like the pattern called for. I seamed them up and put them in the washer for two full loads of wash, then threw them in the dryer until they were dry, got them wet and then put them through the dryer again. The felted bits were VERY felted, but there were pills EVERYWHERE and they fit me really loosely… They fit husband though… Because that’s just my luck. They went into a box and will go to my friend if she wants them but I won’t be heartbroken if it goes in the garbage.

So French Press Slippers: YOU WIN. I’m done ruining more yarn for you to just end up in the garbage. I am moving on. I’m breaking up with you and your stupid adorable face. I hate how cute you are in other people’s project pages; it’s like you’re mocking me in all your cuteness and it makes me feel inept and like a terrible knitter.

I’ve moved onto a cute pair of slippers that are a turkish bedsock style. I’m also making these out of handspun Ashland Bay Merino in a inky black with shocks of blue, red and purple, so I’m much happier now that I have a pair of slippers that will actually fit when I’m done knitting.

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One thought on “A Tale of Slippers

  1. Pull the too big ones out of the trash and sew them smaller with the zigzag on the machine. Cut off excess. You have just steeked. OR, move on to the pattern known as Duffers or Duffers, revisited. Duffers has small, med, large while revisited is in more sizes. When felting, make sure the water is as hot as possible and the washer is on “extra dirty” selection, with an extra hot rinse. I had a few failures when I first started. YOU can do this!

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