I stepped on the scale this morning and saw an amazing number: 246.5. I’ve lost 30 pounds. In 7 months, I lost 30 pounds. Roughly 4.5 pounds per month.
But the number isn’t what’s so amazing: The fact of what I look like is so amazing to me. The last time I lost a ton of weight (50 pounds in 2012/2013), I didn’t see anything change in my body until I hit 50 pounds and finally went shopping. 50 pounds was significant, but I had a lot less muscle definition than I do now. I couldn’t lift, move and function as well as I can now. Five years of CrossFit later and it’s taken a lot more for my body to actually lose the weight, but once I started losing it, I noticed a lot more a lot faster. My clothes are loose on me, I have to wash clothes a lot more often in the hopes they shrink up, my bras aren’t rolling up because they’re too small, my wedding ring fits properly and actually comes off my finger without the assistance of lotion or water and I actually don’t mind looking in the mirror.
I went through a lot of hell to get to this point: A naturopathic doctor who didn’t understand dietetics and how what you eat affects the body so significantly, who prescribed upwards of 56 supplement pills every single day forcing my liver to function at such a high level that I couldn’t sleep and the constant threat from said doctor that she would put me on Phentermine, a drug known to cause Pulmonary Hypertension, kept my stress levels at such a level that my body wouldn’t release anything. As someone with prior pulmonary issues, this doctor completely disregarded my needs and body and was simply determined to pump me full of supplements in the hopes that something would work. When I took matters into my own hands and started researching and applying the Candida diet, things drastically changed and I became shockingly aware of the perils I was doing to my own body and decided to make a change for the better. I am seeing my new naturopath tomorrow and I can’t wait to tell her I’m down 30 pounds from December 1, 2016.
Candida diet is hard. It’s super difficult to avoid all the processed foods in this world, all the bread and cheese that comes with basically everything you don’t make yourself. When Husband and I went to Nashville for Regionals last week, I came prepared with 4 pounds of chicken salad, a handful of jerky bars and a ton of options for snacks. I still succumbed to the chocolate and sweets they put out in the staff area. I suffered greatly for the week following- feeling lethargic and generally crappy overall. For some reason this knowledge doesn’t deter me from cheating and justifying it saying it’s OK, that I’ll just make up for it the next day. The truth is, when I drink enough water, eat Candida-approved foods, take my supplements at the right times and finish the evening with meditation and Castor Oil Packs, I lose weight. You’d think it’d be easier to follow this path knowing what the end result is, but I am a weak-willed individual who has a terrible relationship with food and that’s why I cheat meal on a semi-regular basis. I like to say I only have two cheat meals per week, but really I include little cheats: A sprouted grain wrap, honey roasted nuts, etc. and call them fine.
So it’s taken a really long time to lose the weight. I step on the scale every single morning and am sometimes disappointed, most times apathetic knowing that I did this to myself when I gave in to my hormonal cravings and ate all that chocolate the night before, and occasionally very happy when the number goes down and I can put my new weight into FitBit and MyFitnessPal.
As a CrossFitter, I shouldn’t be focused on the number either, but I have a ticking timebomb here with the potential threat of healthcare reform. Pretty soon I may not be insurable because of my weight, the PCOS and whatnot. Health insurers don’t care about your overall health, they care about the number on the scale and how it relates to your height. If I were simply doing this to get fitter, I wouldn’t worry about it. For now, the scale rules my bathroom.
Bottom line: I’m very happy with the fact that I’ve lost 30 pounds so far. I am officially under the weight restriction for my camp chairs, my trampoline and a whole host of other items around my home. I’m able to fit into a lot of the clothing I wasn’t able to fit into previously and a lot of my more recent clothes are baggy and loose on me, so loose sometimes that I can’t see keeping them around much longer. I am very close to switching to the small band on my fitbit and, with hope, in 6 months or so I can size my wedding band down.
I have 60 pounds to go until I get back to my 2012/13 low weight of 180 pounds. I have 47 pounds to go until I am under 200 pounds again and I know exactly what to do in order to get there. I am not going to just focus on today’s victory and forget about the ultimate goal. I have many more victories to go and I will not let anything get in my way. I just need the willpower to execute the goal and get to the finish lines.